Merely Finite Thinking

Forgive us, Lord, for we know not what we have done;
What wretches we are, who have crucified Your Son;
That we in hatred, have rejected the Chosen One;
For we are sinners, worms, and wretched scum;
Not worthy of Your blessings, only to be shunned.

Yet by Your death, our victory was won;
For Your death allowed for death to be undone;
That we could be saved, redeemed, condemned by none;
Your love is so amazing, bidding all would come;
To follow after You; to enter Your Kingdom.

Father, I love You! and In my life, Your will be done!
May the world not see me, but in me see Your Son!
For war is upon us, as a resounding drum;
But I will choose Jesus! Whatever may come;
For Easter is coming and with it: THE RESURRECTION!!!

I recently had the pleasure of screening a film called Awakening. It was produced by an organization called Jews for Jesus, a Messianic ministry.

Set in New York City, this 30-minute film reveals the heart and goal of Jews for Jesus: evangelism. Taken during their 2011 summer evangelizing campaign, “Awakening” shows just a tiny taste of the work of this Messianic ministry. As one of the campaigner stated, “New Yorkers are a different kind of toughness; they’re very hard-hearted, independent.” Sadly, the same can be said for most of Americans.

This films showcases a variety of different methods used by Jews for Jesus in their evangelical campaigns. From the old-school brochures and t-shirts to the latest in technology such as (my personal favorite) t-shirts with QR Codes linked to evangelistic videos and media. Along with evangelistic methods, we also get a brief look at the initial response to the message from Jews for Jesus.

As the film develops, the film also showcases several short stories and testimonies of lives affected by the ministry of Jews for Jesus. My personal favorite was of Warren, a marijuana addict who is now drug free and one of the campaigners for Jews for Jesus. “Awakening” reminds me often that Christianity wasn’t something of history but something relevant for all generations and all people.

After viewing this film, I was reminded and saddened by the reactions these believers had in this “Christian” nation. Most of the reactions displayed in this film were negative, rejective, and anti-christian. It’s a stark reminder that while our nation was founded on Biblical principles, America is anything but Christian. I was also slightly surprised to see that many people had little or no love for the Jews, especially Jews that were Christian. Even some of the so-called “Christians” of America were a bit hesitant of the Jewish believers, even to the point of misunderstanding. Sadly, I laughed at a woman who, after being asked if she was born again, replied, “Oh, I’m not born again, I’m Baptist.”

The theme for the summer campaign featured in Awakening is “Who is Jesus?” This, above all, was the most amazing for me to watch. From everyday citizens to emo druggies late at night, most if not all of them refused to believe Jesus as “…the Christ, The Son of the living God” (Matthew 16:16). Yet, despite the overwhelming negativity from those they witnesses to, the campaigners boldly continue to witness in NYC, and pray that more laborers will come into the fields.

It is horrifically amazing to see our nation enveloped by a shroud of religion, agnosticism, atheism, and apathy. “Awakening” is a great reminder, not just for Jews but also for Gentile Christians, we need to get out of our blindness and start witnessing. As Associate Director, Susan Perlman, says, “I want people to know Evangelism is not past-say, it is vital.” Christianity needs to wake up and realize that we are shirking our purpose to be witnesses of Christ; and that He is coming back again someday. But until then, Christianity should be out witnessing and doing all it can. Possibly learning a thing or two from Warren, who says, “Let’s get out there, and give them Heaven!”

“Night is coming, when no one can work.” - (John 9:4)

“Awakening” is now available on DVD.

For more info on Jews for Jesus, click here

Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble, and woe.
It’s then I remember
That it’s in the valleys I grow.

If I always stayed on the mountain top,
And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God’s love
And would be living in vain.

I have so much to learn
And my growth is very slow.
Sometimes I need the mountains tops,
But it’s in the valleys I grow.

I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.

My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross.
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan’s loss.

Forgive me, Lord, for complaining
When I’m feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it’s in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me, Lord,
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.

Thank You for the valleys, Lord,
For this one thing I know,
The mountain tops are glorious,
But it’s in the valleys I grow!

- Jane Eggleston

What do you do when you’re left with nothing? When you exhaust what little mental capability you possess to solve or at least gain some semblance of a direction to head in your life; what happens when you run out of options?

I was reading from Oswald Chambers and his book, “My Utmost for His Highest.” In the few entries I read (entries for January 30-February 7), Chambers challenges Christians if they truly understand what it means to hear and to follow the calling of God. Moreover, Chambers further challenges Christians by showing and asking if the Christian is really willing to do whatever it takes to be fully sanctified before the Lord. For hearing God’s calling is not a light thing to hear, nor is it one that does not come without a price. The same goes for sanctification. For in both instances, it requires that a believer be willing to be completely devoid of anything that is not of God, essentially and empty vessel.

Christianity has defined western culture. People may disagree with me, but the fact remains that western culture has been heavily and greatly influenced by the Bible and the church. However, that does not mean it has been influenced for the better.

Our culture is saturated in Christian philosophy and theology that Christians in America have become soggy. Granted, this is a generality and I know of plenty of exceptions to this. Yet, we are so full of it that we can take in any more. Many in our country say the same about politics, corruption, immorality, etc. We’ve just had it up to here with it.Kind of reminds me of that verse in Proverbs 27:7

The full soul loathes the honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.

So those being in this “limbo” is painful and stressful. It is the process by which I am being emptied of the things that do not matter. In order that I can be filled with the things that do. But God doesn’t not intend us to keep this fulfillment to ourselves. We are to pour this same fulfillment to others. It is a constant process of being emptied and then filled. This, I believe, is the process of sanctification. That we are continually being emptied of ourselves and filled with all that is the Lord; and sharing that with those around us.

So to answer my own questions at the beginning of this post. Perhaps when we are exhausted to our limits that that is the moment when God is able to begin filling us with Himself. That perhaps the fact there are no other options is to help teach us that God is the only option.

I write this not as one who has achieved this, but as one who is striving to be as Paul described himself in Philippians 3:12, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own.”

A lot has happened in the past few weeks.

I’ve returned early from Taiwan; took a road trip from Chicago to my home in California (dragging practically everything I owned along with me); learned so many things; saw so many friends and beautiful scenery; was given an abundant amount of time to just be alone and talk with the Lord one-on-one; and (most of all) evaluate and meditate on where I am in my life and where I am going to be going with my life.

It’s a scary place to be in limbo, unable to really know where or even what your suppose to do in this life. At the same time, it was strangely exciting. For I saw nothing that I could strive for, no goal I could work towards. Yet, God showed Himself mighty.

It’s been like God has pulled away that final layer of grim and filth that was blocking my view of who I am. Moreover, I was able to begin to see all the mud and muck and just revolting mire that I had allowed to consume me and incase me. It is like someone showing taking off those rose-colored glasses that you’ve been wearing and now you’re eyes are beginning to adjust to a world of vibrant color.

This has come at a price. I has shaken me to my core and I’m still in the process of being chiseled and chipped by God’s tools of chastisement. I’m just beginning to crack; but by the end of this process, I will be shattered and broken. But this is a good thing. For Scripture tells us that God, who is our Father, only chastises out of love. That it is by a process of being broken that we are made whole. For there are times that it is in being wounded that we are healed.

So what is my purpose? Who am I? What am I suppose to do now?

Though this may sound cliche, my purpose now is to become intimate with the Lord. My drive is to dive into the one who is my All! Each day, my desire and aspirations are being taken and shattered, only to reveal the true dream and drive that I have been seeking and that the Lord is wanting me to pursue.

My goal now is to know Him more, to seek His face, and grow intimate with my God. For in time, I will serve. In time, I will minister. In time, my life will be fulfilled.

It doesn’t mean I sit on my hands and do nothing. If anything purpose drives me to do something. But not in the way most think. I am now striving to not be striving. I am seeking to be surrendered and about my labour, awaiting the day I am ready to be about my Father’s business. This time out of the spotlight is so that I can grow close and be filled with God’s Spirit, learning from Him who I really am.

There are many things that are involved in this. I’m going to be looking for a job; reconnecting with my family; repairing and restoring much of what I’ve forgotten or lost. But now I’m doing these things for the right reason: to seek the Lord with all my being.

I write this not as one who has achieved this, but as one who is striving to be as Paul described himself in Philippians 3:12, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own.” 

A blood-stained weapon…A clean swaddling cloth…The mournful wailing of parents…The joyful praises of angels…The cruel wrath of a king…The sweet peace of a sleeping babe…A forgotten price…A recalled promise…A baby born to die…Men & Women dying to be born…

What do all these things have in common? If you said Christmas… you were right.

It’s hard to believe how much has changed in the days since Christ’s birth. Moreover, it is even hard when one realizes how twisted this world has taken the day to remember Christ’s arrival and entrance into this world.

I don’t know about you. We could debate the background or evolution of the modern holiday known as Christmas. We could debate the whole argument of CHRISTmas vs. Xmas.

But I want to focus on something different. Something I’m not sure many of us even realize. I wonder if even Joseph & Mary realized that the child they held in their arms was a child born to be killed. Moreover, I wonder if anyone realized the terrible price that would be paid as a result of Christ’s birth: the slaughter of innocent children in Bethlehem.

The death of every child in Bethlehem under the age of two is recorded in Matthew 2:16. Could Joseph, Mary, or even the Magi know of this terrible price? Did any of them know even of the great price that Christ would have to pay? Yes, Christ’s destiny was known even when He was very young, for the Magi from the east knew bringing with them a gift of Myrrh, a burial ointment, for Christ. Talk about a crazy birthday gift!

Some would think that may be a horrible way to celebrate the life of such a newborn! What could have possibly possessed the Magi to bring a gift of death!?

Today, why do you celebrate Christmas? To celebrate the coming of Santa Claus? To have and show a merry and generous spirit? Time to be with family and friends? To remembering Christ’s birth?

I may be sounding like Scrooge pushing this thought out here. But I think I should anyways. Christmas is a time of joy and thanksgiving! To be celebrated with laughter and song! Right…? Well… yes… but not the way we do it.

I prefer to celebrate Christ’s birth in reverential and solemn remembrance. One that grieves as much as it praises. For Christmas carries along with it’s story of unfathomable love, a story of deep sorrow and sacrifice. For Christ was born… so that He could die. By His coming and dying, we are able to die to Sin and be born again. He came to be fulfill a promise. His coming came with a terrible price. It was told he would be found in a manger (probably sleeping). His coming ignited the wrath of a cruel king. His coming was announced with the praises of angels. His coming resulted in the mournful wails of mothers and fathers. He covered in swaddling cloths. The price was the blood that would cover the weapons of soldiers.

So when you wish others a “Merry Christmas” remember that that merriment and joy came with a price. It is wonderful and proper to smile and rejoice this Christmas season. But I ask that we also remember that this season is a time of solemn remembrance of why Christ came, and the results of His coming.

We can celebrate and give to others as a means of remembering the gift Christ is to us. We can enjoy the fellowship of friends and loved ones while remembering that Christ gave to us the gift of salvation and fellowship with God. But I think the most important part of Christmas is that Christ came and was born… so that one day He could go and die on the Cross for our sins; and by His death and resurrection we can have life everlasting, and true and incomprehensible joy in the midst of hardship and suffering.

As I think of these things, I can only marvel and cry out in thankfulness. For Christ came! With full knowledge of the pain, the suffering, and the agony which awaited both Him and others. Christ came… that I might be able to experience the joy of eternal life! Could we do the same? Could we be willing to live a life of suffering? Could we forgo the pleasures and conveniences of life so that we can bring others to a saving knowledge of the Lord? Are we able to give all that we have and all that we are with nothing to show for it in this life? By the grace of God, I pray that I would be. I cannot speak for you or anyone else, but I want to have this in my life. I want to live to serve. I want to be born of the spirit and to die to my sinful flesh.

I write this not as one who has accomplished or achieved this, but as one who is striving to be as Paul described himself in Philippians 3:12, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own.”

Have you ever been so happy it hurts? How about the other way around? Have you ever been so hurt or in pain that all you could do is rejoice? Oddly enough, that is when we are to rejoice most: when we are in the midst of suffering. It’s easy and simple to be happy when everything is going right, when things are falling right into your lap. But true joy or rejoicing isn’t seen in the midst of blessing. No, I believe true rejoicing is most greatly displayed when life takes its turn for the worst.

Why is that? Why is it that the purest things or greatest truths are only revealed under the greatest of trials and hardest of tests? Possibly because that purity or truth must be proven, not just stated. This is only possible when in fellowship with the Lord, one that is a growing and active relationship. In a sense, it is proving that we have what we say we possess.

Joy in this life is impossible without God. One can be happy without God, but not joyful. Oh we often say we have joy. But it is really only happiness. This is because it is temporal, circumstantial, and easily dissuaded. It is an emotion that comes and goes. Yet, joy is something that in almost incomprehensible. It is not something we attain. It is something we are given.

A blog post of a good friend of mine tells the story of a boy waiting for his father, the eagerness he has to be with his father, and the joy that the boy has when in fellowship with his father. The boy’s joy is only made possible because he has no obstacles or hinderances blocking him from his father. This then is where the pain of rejoicing comes.

It is not always easy to remove the obstacles that block or fellowship with the Lord. The greatest obstacle (and possibly the hardest to remove) is Pride. Pride can take many forms. In this case, it takes the form of self-pity.

Self-pity is described as “Excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles”. In essence, self-pity is focusing only on one’s problems and unwilling to take action to resolve or remove them. Joy then is not a passive attitude, but an active one. It is one that drives a person to be willing to endure and go through anything necessary to restore and maintain fellowship with God. Even if the price is pain and suffering. Why would such a thing be desirable? Because the end result is peace in the midst of chaos, a peace not of this world. Moreover, the pain and suffering is only temporary, being present for only a moment. Yet the refining qualities that come as a result of such trails and hardships will last a lifetime (if not longer).

Perhaps this is one of the reasons we are placed here on earth: to experience hardship, trial, suffering, even pain. To see the temporary and worthlessness of wallowing in self-pity; and to experience for only the momentary pain and the everlasting peace of true rejoicing in the Lord.

I write this not as one who has achieved this, but as one who is striving to be as Paul described himself in Philippians 3:12, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own.”

My God who made the universe
Knew one day it would be cursed
With pain and hunger, death and thirst
That we are dead in Sin by birth
It is why He sent His Son to Earth

He came, He lived, and He died
He healed, He bled, He laughed, and He cried
Christ, our Savior, was horribly crucified
To rise from the dead and ascend to on high!
That we could be saved and wholly sanctified

Forgiveness He gives without delay
Cleansing, healing, wiping tears away
Upon our being to hold absolute sway
Holding, loving, wanting us to pray,
“Lord, lead me each and every day.”

He loves me though all my ways are perverse
Remember Paul, chief of sinners? Yeah, I’m worse
Yet, He tells me with every single verse
Just how much that I am really worth
So why am I afraid of He who loved me first?

Lord, I want follow, though I’m but a weakling
Sinful, wretched, and a wounded being
I believe, Lord! Help my unbelieving!
Let my faith be real, not just a feeling
I am forgiven! but I can seem to keep fighting
Transform my mind from this merely finite thinking!

Let it be Christ, not me who is living;
Working through me to bring about Your healing
That I walk in faith, not by just by seeing
Remembering I am strongest when I’m kneeling
That in every hardship I yield to Your leading
Forever Yours so long as I keep breathing
Until I am in heaven with You for everlasting.

Two years ago, I wrote a Meditation Commentary upon Repentance. I had to go back into my files on my hard drive to pull it up, but I found it. I was quickly disappointed by how short the MedComm was, no longer than a page. It was actually quite shallow and gave little insight about repentance. Yet, there was something… a couple of sentences I had thrown in (almost unknowingly) that jumped out at me as I re-read it.

Repentance is not a feeling but rather a desire, specifically the desire to restore fellowship between you and another. It is not a passing fancy, but rather a true expression from the heart.

This is not to be confused with regret. Regret is a temporal and emotional feeling. It is often associated with guilt. And while it makes one uncomfortable and depressed, it can be quenched and ignored. However, Repentance is something far deep and different than Regret. Many people in Christian circles call out for sinners to come to repentance, but I wonder how many actually understand what they are calling people into. Repentance is not emotional or temporal. It is a constant and insatiable desire to be in complete, pure, and intimate fellowship with God. It is a spirit attitude, not an emotional feeling. One who is repentant is willing to surrender everything and anything that would hinder his fellowship with God.

Unfortunately, many Christians today do not live a repentant life, myself being chief among them. We live comfortably, willing to only give up things we can see as bothersome or detrimental to our well-being. We fail to realize that our state of lukewarmness is diabolically sinful and irrevocably fatal to fellowship with God. Until we see this lifestyle as sin and return to a life of repentance, we cannot have a dynamic and passionate relationship with God. This applies to the most of the world. For the unsaved it is a call out of darkness. For the lackadaisical and carnal Christian, it is a call to return to your first love.

Recently, this has been my struggle in my walk with the Lord. Doubts and fear plague me during my waking hours, and torment me in the nightmares of my sleep. Yet, both my heavenly Father and my earthly father reminded me that this was a sign that I was alive, not dead. For a dead man feels nothing. He is dead! But now is the time when action is required. For condemnation leads to death, but conviction leads to life! (See John 3:17-18).

Repentance is not wallowing around life with a “woe is me” attitude. Self-pity does no one any good. It is the flint that sparks our burning desire to seek after God, to love Him with all our being, and to share and see that same desire begin in others.

My return to a spirit of repentance has only begun. I know there are many challenges ahead and many battles to be fought. I can’t see the next step I need to take, but I am beginning to wonder if I even need to. God is working on me… that’s all I really need to know.

This I write not as one who has achieved this or has already learned this lesson; but I write this as one who is striving and learning to apply this lesson to my life, being as Paul described himself in Philippians 3:12

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own.